Doing it consciously

While running, I realized something today. More often than not I tend to do things as if there was some kind of enforcement of doing them – even if I especially like doing whatever it is I’m doing. Sometimes this happens in the strangest of circumstances, for example running in a beautiful forest during lunchtime.

When I should be happy about escaping business for an hour or two while seeking harmony of body and soul, I wonder about some unfavorable thing I will have to do when finishing my run. I could think about work, having to have a long drive afterward, preparing exams, doing all kinds of crazy demanding stuff.

Instead I should focus on the moment. Sometimes there’s something really good going on even without me having made the choice of doing it. And if I made a choice, I should stick to it even more, quit moaning and enjoy the hell out of it.

This conclusion came to me on kilometer 9, on an uphill battle against my concentration of not going to stop just because there’s a hill in my way. Needless to say that the hill probably was the best part of the workout. My run today trained me well and I felt really good about it. And I’m humble of having had this particular pleasure.

Anyway, I wonder.. I believe I have known about this small, but prevalently important attitude. I should start meditating again, I miss it at any rate.

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